Confessions of a kleptomaniac.

I, Kelly Fairfield, promise never to steal anything, ever again.

     My name is Kelly Fairfield and I am a kleptomaniac.

  I have led a wonderful life at the age of 27. An enjoying career, a wonderful apartment and the best boyfriend. Many envied me because I have it all at the very young age. But nobody knows, a secret confession hidden, I have an urge to steal.

      To set things straight, I do not steal because I cannot afford to buy it. I’m perfectly capable of paying for all of my needs. So what drives me to steal? The answer is simple, the thrill of it all! I enjoy the feeling of being undetected; the feeling when I leave the store and nobody knows that a chocolate bar has gone missing.  It does require certain skills and I have spent 8 years of my life, perfecting every single move of mine. And all through those 8 years, I have not been caught, not a single time. It feels great, yes it does.

   Through the years, I have widened my collection of stolen things. Soap bars, chocolate bars, shades, lipsticks, facial cleanser, shawls, tee-shirts, toothbrush, make-up kits, brushes- you name it, I have it. Of course, I’m not proud of my second occupation but I cannot seem to stop. I have tried to seek professional help but whenever I walk by a store, the temptation haunts me and I end up, sneaking out with a magazine in my bag.

    My oh-so-perfect boyfriend has no idea I am living a double life. No intentions of telling him either. I do however; intend to stop my habit of stealing. But the urge, it kills. I have gone on days without taking things of shelves of a store, but never months. Weeks, maybe but still never months.

      I am aware of this serious condition and I do want to have treatment, badly! All I know is that it’s definitely going to take time and sure, lots of control. However, I’m pretty sure that it’s going to be worth it. But for now, let’s go shopping at the nearest department stores, shall we?

She sat heartbroken on the bed.

Tears continued trickling down my wet cheeks. The room was filled with dead silence and complete darkness. I felt sickly, weak and with watery eyes. My heart was never going to recover from the excruciating pain of being in love. I felt stripped torn and so was my heart. My world had completely fallen apart and all that’s left was misery, hurt and pain. I felt a tug of regret in my stomach. Never was I ever falling in love, ever again.

The girls were excited while waiting for the results.

Thrilled, elated but nervous at the same time. Our hearts beat fast, faster than a racecar. We tried to keep ourselves calm but our hearts was continuously beating like the drums, we had difficulty breathing. A rabid swarm of butterflies in our stomach, we couldn’t take it anymore. The atmosphere was too tense. We were so close to dying out of curiosity, we wanted to know. Beads of sweat trickled down our faces, was too anxious at the time. And as they slowly opened the envelope, our hearts pounded louder.

“And the winner is ……”

“Mummy, when is Daddy coming back?” my son, Adam would constantly ask me.

   My heart would break into a million pieces whenever he would ask me that.

“Soon darling,” I would reply him with a forced smile, controlling my tears.

   Behind my artificial smile lie the hurt, the pain and the misery. I always pretended to be strong for Adam, always with a smile plastered across my face but I knew that even for a seven year old, he could see past my pretentious happiness. Every night, I would be in my room, sobbing quietly, waiting for my husband’s return. But the more I waited, the more I was giving myself false hopes that he would actually come home. Truth is, I still do miss him.

     John died of sever lung cancer in the year of 1998. Even with that, he remained optimistic. The way he brings light to even the darkest things was truly an inspiration to me and Adam. Though he was left with a short period of time to spend with us, he made sure he used all the time he had wisely. I prayed to God, hoping that he would not take him away from us so soon but I guess, God had some other plans for him.

      One fateful day, John was about to go to work. Never would I have imagined, I would not see him again after that day. He left with a goodbye kiss and even promised Adam he would take him to play ball in the park when he gets back. John, a man of his words was not able to stick with what he had promised.

      Now, I wait at my door, hoping to hear John’s footsteps, waiting for my dear to return home from work. But I knew, deep down, he wouldn’t. I do regret though, wished that I could have spent more time with him but I’m glad that he has reached into a better place.

after a veryvery long time before i actually updated this blog, i’m back. With more promising post i hope.

yes of course, i miss posting up in this blog so here’s one from this year !

well, life in 2009 has been yet a rollercoaster one. i’m a sec 3 now, things have changed. studies are like my ultimate piority. Last year, i spend my time being sooo involved with friends but you know, it’s noo longer like that. i’ve taken up extra classes (which apparently is not really according to my dear syahirah) and cca’s is like WOOOSH ! such an awesome wake up call. yeah, but i have woken up from dreamworld and i’m focusing on my studies more than anything (hahahs, really?) but hmm.. life’s such a big wooah now. well, everyone feels like that i think. what else?

it’s already in the mid of may. time is flying faster than expected. soon enough, it’ll be the end of the year. fast right? sooo, what’s about 2009 which is sooo different from the last? To me, nothing really, unless you count the recession. Singapore is undergoing some severe financial crisis and it’s believed to be even worser than how many feared it would be. Other major news? Oh yes, the epidemic of “swine flu”. Apparently there are cases involving death about this flu. it’s serious because people had died because of this flu and we are now under cautious alert. So far, none has hit Singapore yet but we are taking this matter super seriously ! Other than that, i’m sure nothing major right now.

But let’s not forget, i’m becoming such an indian now. I listen to tamil songs, catch tamil movies. i guess sometimes, no matter how far you try to run away, it’ll come back to you.

“YOU CAN RUN BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE”

okayy, i’ll end with this. my eyes are already half heavy ! i have to go catch my beauty sleep ! cheerios people i’ll see you soon perhaps?

lovelovelove,

valerieeee priyaaa

2009 is gonna be awesome, I think?

Well, 2008 has been a really great year for me. Many ups and downs yet, i’ve managed to overcome them all. I’ve lost great friends but in return, I’ve gained some too! It’s much of a rollercoaster ride for me but I’ve turned out as a much better person. Things are definitely gonna change next year and I’m well prepared for it! Bring on another year of drama!!

Okay people, honestly my computer is broken down at home but I’m currently using my friend’s computer. Bless her kind heart!

Anyways, for the task on the whole “a picture tells a thousand words”, I chose this picture which a photo of me blowing a Didjeridu which is an aboriginal’s musical instrument. Here’s a little detail on what this instrument really is.

The didjeridu is usually formed when a branch of a tree, naturally hollow, is further hollowed out by nesting termites. Considerable stamina is required for this technique and a good didjeridu player is considered capable of sustaining fast energetic rhythmic patterns throughout a given song. A skilled player is highly respected and may travel with a professional songman to enhance trade meetings or other interband meetings.

So, here’s the picture. It was taken at Australia which I went with the uniform groups of Siglap Secondary. It was super fun, being with the aboriginals. They taught us so many things which is very vital in life and seeing how they live their life meant a lot. All they needed to survive was only using simple things that we took for granted. They barely had any technology which was not shocking to me and yet from their faces, you could see how appreciative they were.

Learning how the play the didjeridu was very fun. It was hard at first but it was definitely worth it. It wasn’t an easy instrument to play but the aboriginals there played it so well. Everyone had a chance to play. Some wasn’t good at it but we tried our best!

Australia was a very interesting experience. I learnt many new things there that I can put in good use in my life. Learning how to appreaciate the things I have was definitely one of them.

Growing up, music played a major part of my life. My dad was such an avid music-lover especially for oldies. Legends like Luther Vandross, Barry Manilow, Kenny Loggins was always played in the car. That was how I got soo attached to the oldies and ever since, I grew to love them.

Pains my heart to see that nowadays, lyrics no longer holds any meaning. For example, the ting tings. This band was famous for their hit song, that’s not my name.  Very interesting beat but the lyrics makes no sense at all! Here’s a little peek in their lyrics.

 They call me ‘Stacey’
They call me ‘her’
They call me ‘Jane’
That’s not my name
That’s not my name

Are, you, calling, me, darling?
Are, you, calling, me, bird?

That’s not my name
That’s not my name

See what I mean? No offence to the singers but really, don’t you feel offended if you were such a big music-lover? That’s because I know I am.

What has happened to the good ol oldies where lyrics actually make sense! Grrrrr…

Anyways, the song I heard- I hope you dance by Leeann Wolmack was such an inspirational song. To me, the song basically saying that we should never give up and always keep on trying. For example, she said

“When you get the chance to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance”

Meaning: If you had the chance to do something about that certain something, do it. Don’t just sit idly by, regretting. Always be daring and start living! (:

I think that is what it means; I don’t really know how to explain although I may have a pretty good idea in my head.

“Living might mean taking chances”

Meaning: Sometimes you gotta take the risk because if you do, it means your living life!

The song I chosen after much consideration would be: Hero- Mariah Carey.

MARIAH CAREY RULES! *screams loudly*

Her song, hero is telling her listeners that everyone is a hero individually.

“Hold on, there will be tomorrow.”

This song is very motivational because it tells you to face life in a positive manner. Whenever you feel incompetent, you must not give up because you know that you can. Always believe that there is a hero in you and don’t lose faith when you’re faced with an obstacle. MOST OF ALL: BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.

This song means a lot to me and has a very great impact on my life. I love this song before and I still do. TIMELESS classic. In fact, I have much more to share with you but I suppose, I’ll end here. Before I leave, here’s the link to the song- HERO.

 Hero-Mariah Carey [plus lyrics] 

Fat-exploitation on Youtube

I was watching tv yesterday and I came across this episode on Tyra Bank’s talk show about “Fat-exploitation”. Interesting subject I may say, here’s a video of the episode.

Sooo, this was a part 2 of the episode.

*I’m not sure if you can see this video, if you can’t then sorry. best viewed in mozilla.

But if you want to see the whole episode, do click on Youtube and type “Queen Raqui On Tyra Banks Show”

Interesting eh? I know what you’re thinking. How can she be a model? She’s 600 pound and her lumps of fat is so disgusting. That was what I was feeling at first. Eventually, I find that there’s no harm in her becoming a model and squashing man for a living. If men enjoy this, then by all means. Who are we to stop them right? I think if that’s what Queen Raqui wants to do then let her be.

If you have any comments, don’t hesitate to write one. Share your opinion with the world! (:

Cheeriooos,

Valerieeeee Priyaaaa (:

I have to say, Mr Obama has become such an international celebrity hasn’t he? Nevertheless, I think it’s awesome that America has a new, black president. This is definitely a new beginning for America.

First, I have to say politics and me just doesn’t go well with each other. I have no interest in that subject and I don’t intend to start however when Mr Obama decided to run for presidency against all odds, it kinda struck me a little and soon, you see me writing about him in my post. (weird eh?)

In the cartoon, which is amusing by the way shows that finally, a new black president has been born into the family of presidency. After 43 years of “whites” ruling the great country of America, a new chance has emerged. It may be hope for America after all.

I think the cartoon is trying to say that everyone is accepted, no matter what your skin color is. Maybe, that’s what we need right now because I have to say, nothing good is happening in the world right now. The cartoon also tells me that now there’s no longer a need for racism and possibly, twenty years from now, EVERYONE CAN LIVE IN PERFECT HARMONY. Why not? America has a great impact on the world anyways.

It definitely is painful to see that in the past, blacks were not accepted in the white community. I mean, we are all humans anyway so how can you judge us by our skin colour? That kinda brings this to my previous post. Judging others for their appearance. This is just simply a waste of time. Now, we have to move on.

I guess when I see the cartoon, the question that pops in my head would be that

“Why wasn’t this done a long time ago?”

I mean, I feel that I put soo much pressure on Mr Obama since he’s the first new black president and all but I really hopes that he is able to give the change we need because we need a lot of change in this world! I’m sorry Mccain but I think it’s time you move over.

Cheerios,

Valerieeeee Priyaaaa (:

So, I was googling on my task [tattoos] and I found some awesome stuffs. Never did I imagine that tattos would actually be such a big a deal.

Anyways, I have to strongly and I repeat strongly disagree with the statement:

 Do you think that it is reasonable for people to judge others based on whether they have tattoos or not?

DEFINITELY A BIG NO-NO! Nobody likes to be labelled and it doesn’t really make a difference if that person has a tattoo or not. Judging others because of appearance or whatever it may be, it’s still a definite no. In actual fact, I find it really childish to stereotype people because of their tattoos.

Tattoos, to me is considered as form of art. I don’t blame anyone for having them. If you want it, go get one! Don’t let the world stop you. Everyone has their own liberty to do whatever they want on their own body. Don’t you agree?

Behind every tattoo, there holds a meaning. For instance, Angelina Jolie whom I’m sure plenty knows about, has many different tattoos but she has them because it holds something meaningful to her heart. Yet, she’s never been put behind bars. Anyone care to explain that? In fact, she’s adopting orphans to accept them as her own! See, a young lady with hell loads of tattoos and yet, she acts like an angel.

This are merely examples as to show that people with tattoos don’t necessarily goes to jail. C’mon people, be practical. Tattoos are like, no big deal though sometimes the public can be soo judgemental. The whole period where tattoos were considered “gangster-liked” is over! Maybe, a suggestion would be that you have a tattoo where you can cover up when needed to.

Judging others without knowing them is a sin. A sin no human should ever commit. It should be be engraved into the 10 commandments, “ Thou shall not judge”. God must have forgotten about that one.

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”~ unknown.

Ending with a qoute, lesson here would be: Don’t ever judge someone. Simple?

 Also, here’s a fun fact for you:

The world’s most tattooed person is Tom Leppard from the Isle of Skye, Scotland, who has 99.9 per cent of his body covered with a leopard-skin design. Guinness World Records states that the only parts of Tom’s body that are not tattooed are the skin between his toes and the insides of his ears.

Cheerios,

Valerieeeee Priyaaa.